The past few years have been an interesting time in my walk with Christ, droves of ups and downs and insecurities have crept in. Never have I doubted God, yet I have felt a distance and for awhile I have been attempting to pinpoint, justify and cast out confusion about where I got lost. My story is not that of the prodigal son, but I felt lost in the sense of belonging. It was not until this past Sunday in church, the culprit of my frustration was exposed. The pastor spoke about how the world and even the church will tell us that if we "do" enough, it will grant us worth and along with that worth comes belonging. I understand that it is not by our works we are saved but by grace; see Ephesians 2:8. What I do understand about culture though is that we all want to belong somewhere and at many times will do what we need to in order to gain acceptance. I have never struggled with the thought about God's love for me or even self-worth but belonging is in a category of its own and rooted in caring about the perception of man.
I became a Christian about 7 or so years ago and never once have I regretted that decision, I am grateful for the new life and second chance I have been given. Most people who have known me for any length of time, would definitely agree I have changed for the better and hardly resemble the girl I once was, except for some goofiness I still can rock. When I became a Christian I certainly had a zeal to share about my new found faith and perhaps I lacked some wisdom in that zeal but the important thing was I had passion, joy and conviction. I went on to pursue ministry and did a 2-year internship with a church and it rocked my world- probably the second best decision I made in my life for it built a foundation of truth in me and I got to walk out my faith by serving. The problem started to arise upon my completion of the program and I had to be released into areas I was called to. I somewhat felt abandoned and without direction; I could not spend as much time serving within the church because I had gone back to college and had to work full time which also meant working Sundays as well. I began to have thoughts of negativity, thinking that I was only useful to the church if I could be there all the time. I placed my worth within the church and the measuring stick I used to calculate that worth with was by my works and since my works within the church were not what they use to be, my worth diminished. This was my thought process and it continued to be fed when I felt certain relationships become more distant. This made me feel alone; the only other community I wanted belonging in was the snowboard community and in many ways I did not fit in with that either so what is a girl to do?
I started creating worth by trying to create ways to serve without the church, almost to validate myself as a still active Christian despite not being able to go to church as often. Let's be honest though, that did not work because yes, the church is a building but I need the people who are the church. My epiphany hit me Sunday that I have been gathering acceptance from the wrong sources. The day I accepted Christ as my Savior, I immediately belonged to Him and it is through Him I have been granted worth. That does not change from day to day if I am being a "good" Christian or not, but because I belong to Him I have adopted His character which compels me to "do". His love compels me to live selflessly, to love unconditionally and live by faith and not circumstance. Some of you may not understand, but for some, I may have hit the nail on the head. You already belong! It does not matter what your position or status is, your belonging that matters and bears any substance comes from your Creator. No one can determine the course of your life, even when you plan it out, it is the Lord who determines our steps so listen to the One who holds that design for your life; Proverbs 16:9. Let me say that I do believe in the local church with all my heart, it is important to have one you are a part of, but do not attach your identity and sense of worth to anything but Christ- that goes for anything else: jobs, finances, hobbies, etc... all are fleeting and temporary. If you place your worth in those and all of a sudden those are taken away, you are left with a sense of worthlessness. I love snowboarding so much, but who I am is not rooted in it because if for some reason I was unable to snowboard again, I would not lose myself or identity. As cliche as is sounds I belong to Jesus and nothing else matters.
Matt
As you reach the age of 30, it is common for one to reflect on the past thirty years of life. No longer a twenties something, yet coming into a decade of what I consider establishment. I believe this is going to be a dynamic year for you and in many ways it already has been. This spring you finally finished the milestone of graduating college, not in underwater basket weaving but in Electrical Engineering, in which you should take immense pride in for this was no easy task. As your in the pursuit of finding your fit in the vast expanses of the career world, do not be discouraged. Economists and media project gloomy forecasts of unemployment rates and tough job markets, but there is something different for those who put their trust in Christ and in His Word. As a believer, you are not subject to circumstance, you are to practice faith. God has not put in you a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind, so even in the midst of darkness He has provided you with a lamp to guide your path. I know you are frustrated in some of life's circumstances, but today as I was thinking of you, God placed Jeremiah 29 on my heart and despite its continued use within Christian circles, it is a promise from God. His plans for you Matthew are for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope and as you seek Him earnestly, you will find Him. Do not let any clouds of frustration limit God's capacity and ability to move mightily in this season and chapter of life. He will restore your fortunes and bring you to the place He has planned for you.
As for entering into the thirties, there are some things you should know (Biblically) about the age and number 30. As most of us know, Jesus began his ministry at the age of 30 but he was not the only one; King David and Joseph also came into leadership at the age of 30 as well. Thirty is represented in the Hebrew as the letter "lamed" which is an ox goad or staff symbolizing authority, leadership or rulership. I am declaring and believing this for you Matthew; I believe thirty is going to be a year that you will enter in a position of authority, leadership and rulership. You are going to have authority in the places you go, not by your own doing but given by God, in fact, you already possess more than you realize but I see it. People are drawn to you Matt, you walk with integrity, wisdom and love. You are authentic in how you live and serve God and you are genuine. I have had the privilege of having you as a best friend for over six years and a confidant for the past nine months. You are the one I want to "do" life with and as your name means "gift from God" I truly see you as my gift from God. Happy 30th birthday my love- your life is just getting kick started and I am honored to hit the ground running with you. Love you and I declare all this in the name of Jesus, Amen.
This message is for everyone; the religious faithful, the political activist, the atheist and anyone else who considers themselves an American. Lately, I have come to the assumption that tolerance amongst people goes only as far as an individuals personal interest or belief. Sure, some will allow themselves to go to the point of civil discourse, yet for the majority, tolerance stops at their viewpoint. The advantage of living in this country is the freedom of self expression and speech as well as to exercise said expressions. What we as a country have to realize is that because of this freedom, demonstrated in the first amendment of our Constitution, there are going to be viewpoints you are going to disagree with. Some are bigoted, racist, sexist, anti-God, anti-religion, and the list goes on- the point is each individual has the right to express themselves in a peaceful manner. This does not indicate that you have to agree or even perhaps argue their viewpoint but you can not argue their right to say it; understand the distinction?
The danger behind stifling an individuals right to exemplify their faith or opinion is in essence a battle against your very own right to express your set of opinions. Thus, if the time were to arise for you to denote your individual set of beliefs and all you have done is rally to have other individuals rights taken away, yours will be taken too. As my mother use to say, "you can't have your cake and eat it too". Instead, know what it is that you believe so you can distinguish truth from fallacy. Learn how to reform an ignorant, bigoted ideology instead of taking away their right to say it. One more thing, just because someone share's their faith or beliefs does not mean they are forcing/shoving/indoctrinating you, unless of course it involves a threat, yet simply it means that the individual is passionate about their belief. For example, I have friends of every walk of life, I love hearing their stories and ideologies; many have shared their beliefs with me but because I am confident in what it is I hold to be truth, I do not find their beliefs intrusive. I can respect their ideas, even if I do not agree with them. I can even discourse with them and present another ideology without disregarding their right to express themselves.
In summation, stop getting huffy over a Jesus facebook post or a pro-gay marriage segment on TV (these are just examples) instead respect another individuals freedom of speech and religion. Be educated and educate your children to the values you hold to be true. If someone abuses their right to speech in the form of hatred, learn to reform mindsets or cultural stigmas. Tolerance and acceptance are two separate entities. "Of course, there are dangers in religious freedom and freedom of opinion. But to deny these rights is worse than dangerous, it is absolutely fatal to liberty." -Truman
You have probably seen at least one of these logos or icons at some point in your existence, perhaps you even identify with one of these symbols. Each one, along with the thousands more, are representative of an ideology or philosophy. Each symbol evokes an emotion upon first sight, some may evoke passionate sentiments and others are a fleeing thought.
I was sitting in my U.S. History class watching a documentary about the Freedom Riders (if you do not know who they were I suggest you look it up) and the sight of the Confederate flag roused my distaste for what that flag represented. It also reminded me of the disdain I sometimes have towards individuals in this state who wave around that flag proudly as if they had something to do with the history of it. That flag to me represents a bigoted, oppressive Southern mindset that held people in bondage for generations and the fact people still are proud of that history disturbs me. The point being, each symbol represents something. Businesses use logos to distinguish a product to the masses and we the people enjoy representing those emblems all over our clothes, cars, etc... In essence, there is nothing wrong with this but what one should take in consideration is the fact that the symbols one wears or advertises, identifies them with that ideology, company or philosophy- conscious of it or not.
Symbols have power and meaning- just because certain symbols are trending does not deprive them of the original and intended meaning. So next time you tote around a symbol, remember you are representing an ideology you may not truly associate with. So, what symbol are you representing?
