Expectations are everywhere. No matter who you are, where you come from or what group(s) you identify with, expectations are always present. It can be hard to fill so many shoes and put on different faces everyday. Expectations are not necessarily bad, they can allow us to be challenged and grow but sometimes they can cause a heavy weight on our shoulders. Being a part of any community, you're going to find yourself trying to live up to some standard and many times, being a part of a church family isn't any different.
I don't think churches (most of them, anyway) are trying to be destructive when they place expectations on their members. Especially in places where people may look to you as a role model, mentor or example, it is not unreasonable for a church to say, "hey, this is how our church wants to be represented..." Considering the fact our actions speak louder than words, it is important to be vigilant about maintaining a lifestyle that aligns with what you believe. However, no one is perfect and we are all hypocrites from time to time. Now here is what expectations are NOT supposed to do: conform you and mold you into someone you are not. Sure, things about you may fall to the wayside as you pursue Christ, but that's not the church working in you, it's your relationship with God that's developing you.
The more I found myself trying to fit a mold and conform to a popular consensus, the less successful I was. I have realized the more I just am the person who God created me to be, the more favor I find and the less frustrated I become. People are drawn to authenticity, not to a fabrication. You don't have to be anything other than yourself. The passions that drive you, the things that inspire you, the things you're interested in - are all things that you should be using to minister to others. It's almost as if you don't have to try because it is flowing out of who you are naturally. You don't have to do things a specific way because your peers or colleagues do it one way. Use what YOU know! Use your own creativity! I have spoken of this several times, but when I think of this concept of changing the world out of who you are, I think of Moses in the Bible. Many already know the story, but here you have this man who grew up in privilege because he was drawn from the water. He watched day in and day out with pain in his heart as his own people were enslaved, until he could not take it anymore and he reacted by killing a soldier who was beating a Hebrew slave. Out of fear, he fled and eventually established himself in a new town and could have lived the rest of his days in mediocrity. Until one day, God led him out of his mediocre day-to-day, isolated him and then commissioned him to save the very people his heart broke for. Of course God would help him fulfill the task, but together, they would change the lives of people forever.
Think about it, out of who Moses was, God fulfilled his passions. Moses could have settled with his life in Midian and to be honest, probably would have died there somewhat contently, but he would have never lived out his purpose. A lot of people miss the mark in life because they settle for what everyone else is doing or wants them to do. God gives us the desires of OUR hearts, not someone else's heart for us. Be bold about who you are and represent it proudly. Each person represents a different facet of the church universal, so you were meant to add and when you add something that means you are bringing something to the table that wasn't already there. You, as you are, were meant to add - not conform. BE YOU because you are beautiful, original and have something to offer!
Probably many of you have been curious as to why I helped start a local women's snowboard group called 'No Bunnies' and then turned around only to write for a magazine called Snow Bunny Magazine. A pretty contradicting move and seemingly hypocritical, especially to those who fought alongside me to remove the negative snow bunny stigma that men have placed on female shredders for years. I have to admit, at first, I was skeptical. The name certainly irked me but I was trying to keep an open mind. During the first several months of my involvement, I had gotten to know the faces and personalities behind the mag but I was not sure of its direction. I have learned to love being a woman in all of its diversity - there certainly is not ONE way of being a woman - but I had reservations about if this mag fit what I thought the snow culture and its women represented. Before the mag officially launched, we were doing fashion shows, photo shoots and bar hopping events, which really was counter to my own personality and interests. But after the mag launched and articles started coming out, I felt more comfortable with the vision and direction of the mag. Yet, I still fought accepting the title, because I did not want to be affiliated with such a negative stigma.
Then it happened. The subject of 'No Bunnies' came up in a meeting. It looked a little odd that one of the core staff members was headlining a local group that, in appearance, seemed to undermine the mag. At first, I was upset. Not because I did not see the contradiction, I understood where they were coming from. I was frustrated because 'No Bunnies' was something so dear to me. 'No Bunnies' helped give girls in our local snow community a place to gather around and identify with other women. It became a group that encouraged women to progress and helped garner a healthy competitive appetite. It unified our local women and created a close knit family; it was a place to recognize and praise each other for our accomplishments. I did not want to let go of the name because I did not want to seem like a sell-out. I sat down and really began to think about my motivations for this mag and what I wanted to add to it. I wanted to write about our local snow scene and women; I wanted to give women's issues a greater voice and a grander platform to showcase accomplishments. And yes, I wanted some of the perks that come with writing for a magazine (hey, I am being honest).
Misty brought up the fact that Snow Bunny Mag can do more for the snow scene in the long run than 'No Bunnies' ever could (and not in a condescending way). I mulled on this concept for a few days, while talking to various women, including other 'No Bunny' co-founders and here is what I have taken away from all this. Yes, I was embarrassed of the title 'Snow Bunny'. Myself and others have tried to avoid this stereotype for a long time and you know what? People are always going to stereotype and have fixed notions about particular groups of people, no matter how hard you try to avoid them. In fact, at the end of last season, I had a kid call me a "snow bunny" and meant it in a negative way, until I showed him up in the park. My point is, I choose to team up with those who care about women and the things they love, and not care about those who seek to tear others down. Snow Bunny Mag represents a vast array of women, from the stereotypical snow bunny to the hard core outdoor enthusiast. Who am I to tell a girl what kind of woman she should be? Sure, I want to encourage healthy self-worth and images, but when it comes to common interests, it's not up for me to say we all have to agree. If a girl wants to wear make-up and look all cutesy on the hill, it doesn't hurt me and ultimately, it is not my place to judge her for that. So if we have an article about waterproof make-up on the slopes, it has an appeal to certain women, maybe not to all, but to some it does. I have found that women do a great job at dividing themselves. We constantly compare, judge (even if it is secretively), and out-do one another instead of working on our acceptance, love and encouragement to one another.
So here it is, the title 'No Bunny' will be no more. Instead, I am changing the name to 'knoW bunny". The idea of the group will remain the same and you are more than welcome to call yourself whatever you want. I have decided that I am teaming up wholeheartedly with Snow Bunny Magazine because I feel it will give women the voice, attention and recognition they deserve. We have been thankful for all of your support, ladies. We hope to put on more women-focused events and continue to write about the awesome things that make up so many different types of women. I am blessed to have a diverse set of women in my life, it just shows how fearfully and wonderfully each one of us are made. As Misty has stated about the mag, "we're not a feminist magazine but a feminine one". Hope you all understand and share in this exciting next step for our local scene, I truly feel like this is a good move. Love you all so much.
