Probably many of you have been curious as to why I helped start a local women's snowboard group called 'No Bunnies' and then turned around only to write for a magazine called Snow Bunny Magazine. A pretty contradicting move and seemingly hypocritical, especially to those who fought alongside me to remove the negative snow bunny stigma that men have placed on female shredders for years. I have to admit, at first, I was skeptical. The name certainly irked me but I was trying to keep an open mind. During the first several months of my involvement, I had gotten to know the faces and personalities behind the mag but I was not sure of its direction. I have learned to love being a woman in all of its diversity - there certainly is not ONE way of being a woman - but I had reservations about if this mag fit what I thought the snow culture and its women represented. Before the mag officially launched, we were doing fashion shows, photo shoots and bar hopping events, which really was counter to my own personality and interests. But after the mag launched and articles started coming out, I felt more comfortable with the vision and direction of the mag. Yet, I still fought accepting the title, because I did not want to be affiliated with such a negative stigma.
Then it happened. The subject of 'No Bunnies' came up in a meeting. It looked a little odd that one of the core staff members was headlining a local group that, in appearance, seemed to undermine the mag. At first, I was upset. Not because I did not see the contradiction, I understood where they were coming from. I was frustrated because 'No Bunnies' was something so dear to me. 'No Bunnies' helped give girls in our local snow community a place to gather around and identify with other women. It became a group that encouraged women to progress and helped garner a healthy competitive appetite. It unified our local women and created a close knit family; it was a place to recognize and praise each other for our accomplishments. I did not want to let go of the name because I did not want to seem like a sell-out. I sat down and really began to think about my motivations for this mag and what I wanted to add to it. I wanted to write about our local snow scene and women; I wanted to give women's issues a greater voice and a grander platform to showcase accomplishments. And yes, I wanted some of the perks that come with writing for a magazine (hey, I am being honest).
Misty brought up the fact that Snow Bunny Mag can do more for the snow scene in the long run than 'No Bunnies' ever could (and not in a condescending way). I mulled on this concept for a few days, while talking to various women, including other 'No Bunny' co-founders and here is what I have taken away from all this. Yes, I was embarrassed of the title 'Snow Bunny'. Myself and others have tried to avoid this stereotype for a long time and you know what? People are always going to stereotype and have fixed notions about particular groups of people, no matter how hard you try to avoid them. In fact, at the end of last season, I had a kid call me a "snow bunny" and meant it in a negative way, until I showed him up in the park. My point is, I choose to team up with those who care about women and the things they love, and not care about those who seek to tear others down. Snow Bunny Mag represents a vast array of women, from the stereotypical snow bunny to the hard core outdoor enthusiast. Who am I to tell a girl what kind of woman she should be? Sure, I want to encourage healthy self-worth and images, but when it comes to common interests, it's not up for me to say we all have to agree. If a girl wants to wear make-up and look all cutesy on the hill, it doesn't hurt me and ultimately, it is not my place to judge her for that. So if we have an article about waterproof make-up on the slopes, it has an appeal to certain women, maybe not to all, but to some it does. I have found that women do a great job at dividing themselves. We constantly compare, judge (even if it is secretively), and out-do one another instead of working on our acceptance, love and encouragement to one another.
So here it is, the title 'No Bunny' will be no more. Instead, I am changing the name to 'knoW bunny". The idea of the group will remain the same and you are more than welcome to call yourself whatever you want. I have decided that I am teaming up wholeheartedly with Snow Bunny Magazine because I feel it will give women the voice, attention and recognition they deserve. We have been thankful for all of your support, ladies. We hope to put on more women-focused events and continue to write about the awesome things that make up so many different types of women. I am blessed to have a diverse set of women in my life, it just shows how fearfully and wonderfully each one of us are made. As Misty has stated about the mag, "we're not a feminist magazine but a feminine one". Hope you all understand and share in this exciting next step for our local scene, I truly feel like this is a good move. Love you all so much.
I have to admit, it is somewhat surreal that I have completed this round of upper-division schooling. Several years ago if you had asked me if I was going to go back to school, I would have probably told you I was meant for travel and 'real-life' education. Looking back at my transcripts, it is rather comical and a rather telling story of a woman who underwent a supreme transformation. It humbles me because I know I did not do it alone. Many of you know I am a Christian, no big surprise there and many of you may expect a monologue of how God has changed my life. I believe though that actions speak louder than simple words, although words carry power. I think many of you who have known me for any length in time can attest to the changes made in my life. Some of you may deduce it to simple personal strength and overcoming negative 'energy'. Although I did have a part in all the changes that have been made in my life, for I am not a lifeless robot, I would be arrogant to discredit the power of Christ in my life and the wisdom I have found through His Word. I can say I have learned to accept, love, tolerate, challenge and stand upon my convictions more deeply than I ever did. It has not been a perfect journey and I have certainly blown it or have gotten 'carried away' with zeal, but life and our relationships, whether be spiritual or personal, are always growing and maturing. But I am here to give you some advice. Advice about school. Advice about education. And perhaps, if I am successful, some advice on life. Now mind you, this is MY opinion and what I have concluded based on the small bit of acquired wisdom I may or may not have accumulated over the years, I suppose you be the judge. So here goes it...
1). DO NOT go to college unless you are certain on what you want to pursue, unless you are extremely good at studies. When I graduated in 2002, I did what many high schools kids aspire/get pressured into doing: I went to college. I aimed at a double major in Graphic Design and Marketing and although I loved to draw, I did not have my heart in this degree nor with school in general. My priorities were focused elsewhere and all the while I struggled immensely with personal identity/purpose. Call it teenage angst or whatever you want, but that was my situation. Until I realized my worth and purpose, I approached education with a whole new tenacity! I could not get enough of learning! Do not get me wrong, homework got extremely annoying at times, but my attitude about learning changed drastically! I never saw myself as a teacher growing up, but once I felt called to that career, my excitement grew everyday. I cannot wait to get in a classroom! I know it will be challenging and I will make many mistakes along the way, but at the end of the day I will find fulfillment doing what I have been created to do! Many people are frustrated trying to pursue things that are not conducive to what they were created to do and as a result their self-worth becomes diminished.
2). DO NOT be afraid to challenge your professors or other classmates. Now this does not give you an all access pass to be a total jerk and only allow your voice to be heard. Let others share their opinions/beliefs/points of views with courtesy and share yours with the same amount of respect. IT IS OKAY TO DISAGREE! Your professor's word is not sacred nor is it always right. Challenge them but with respect and love. Be open to others, you may learn a thing or two, but know what it is you believe as well. It is amazing how easily one can be swayed or influenced. Stand firm but love genuinely.
3). BELIEVE in your ability to get the task done. I cannot count how many times at the beginning of a semester I would get all of my class syllabuses and ask myself how I was going to get everything done. But it ALWAYS got done! Take it day by day. Do not look too far down the semester but focus on the needs and demands of each week.
4). GET TO KNOW your professors and classmates. This is one thing I regret with school. I did not spend a lot of time visiting with my professors and getting to know them on a more personal level. They really do enjoy your time (or so they tell me ;)) so go visit them. It will also help you more in the classroom. Also, by getting to know your classmates, you can really find some amazing people to have great conversations with, thus sparking good friendships many times. You have a long road ahead of you, it makes it a lot less lonely if you have some pals to share your pain with! ha! ;)
5). CONVINCE yourself you are smart. Not the 'know-it-all' or 'condescending academic' type of smart but believe in your ability to critically think, analyze and interpret. You are smarter than you think. It does help though to read more, contemplate and discuss ideas and issues. Remember, the brain is a muscle so exercise it.
There you have it...take it or leave it. Just know, it is never too late as long as you are breathing and hey, if I can do it, so can you! Much love, friends! Thank you for all the support and encouragement along the way. Meaningful relationships sure make life so worth it! Below is some proof, just in case you thought I was blowing smoke up your pantalones.
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| My transcripts from my 2002-2003 semester (sorry took a pic w/ my phone off my computer) |
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| Transcripts from 2012-2013 (still waiting for grades from this last fall) |
There are many people in life that do wondrous things and do not always get the recognition they so often deserve. Why? Most notably, these types seldom seek affirmation for their deeds. Their work comes out of who they are and with motives to serve selflessly. I happen to know such an individual and am honored to say so. She has been a confidant to whom I owe much debt of gratitude. She is a pillar, a voice of wisdom and reason, and one of the most faithful individuals I have yet to meet. This woman many of you know as Glover, or as her name says on her birth certificate, Jennifer Glover (a little side note, you will always be Glover even when you get married). We have been on many adventures, through so many "seasons" of life and have seen the best and worst of one another. Your faithfulness amazes me, Glove. You push through criticisms, set backs, disappointments, and you do it all with fearlessness. You trust in God with all that you are and it is because of this, you have been able to remain steady and stand tall. You love the broken-hearted like none other I have seen. You do not fixate on cultural norms or what society says about success or beauty, but you love people unconditionally right where they are. You do not try to change people, yet you love them through their storms. You love those most people ignore and with a genuine heart. I believe your heart to touch and affect the world through missions and prayer will take place; if anyone can do it, you can!
I love the fact I got to live with you for three years, what a sight that must of been to outsiders! We were quite a team in all that we did; a dynamic duo some might say. The people we met and prayed for, the road trips we went on, my boyfriends you put up with ;) You are the truest friend anyone could ask for. We had Jerry's class together! Sorry for the random memories but as I write this, I meditate on all we have been through and all that we have experienced together and that is something I will never lose. You make imprints on people's hearts from the moment they meet you and you have forever imprinted mine. This is my living eulogy to you, my dear friend! Thank you for all that you are, not only to me, but to everyone you meet! Love you so much! Ruth 1:16
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| Mt. Baker, Washington |
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| Seattle, Washington |
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| Halloween 07, I believe. Wayne's World for life! |
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| Maid of Honor |
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| Glove's graduation from BSU 2012 |
How is it in a time in our history, where privacy is almost null with the emergence of social networks, technology and government surveillance, transparency has become a predisposed disposition? Humans are pretty crafty about choosing what they want the world to see or perceive. On the outside, our lives are capable of appearing perfect while the inside picture harbors a very different reality. Personally, one of the hardest things a person can be is transparent. Why? Because transparency opens one up to becoming vulnerable; vulnerable to exposed weakness, flaws, shortcomings and most importantly, the created self-image we want the world to see. In our culture today, the 'self' is very exalted. I mean, why else do we need social network sites such as Facebook, Instagram or blogger? We want the world to hear our thoughts and opinions. We want people to see our exalted lives, with the polish we add to it. (By the way, I am totally guilty of this, so do not think I am singling myself out or pointing fingers. We are in this together, friends.) But this blog is specifically for those who feel their life is a masquerade.
Now let me emphasize, transparency does not mean you have to publicly broadcast your inner conflicts with everyone you come in contact with. What it does mean, is not being afraid to be open and vulnerable to those whom you trust, i.e. spouse/significant other, mentor, best friend. Understand that hurt from being transparent can result, but in my experience, those who hold in frustrations, fears, addictions, etc... find themselves in deeper, darker places. Mold thrives in the dark, so do our emotions and fears. Blockading your feelings from those whom your supposed to put trust in, severs relationships and places a gap from real intimacy. I find this most important within a marriage or committed relationship. I have not been married very long at all, coming up to our 6 month anniversary, but I do have an understanding about relationships in general. Sequestering and harboring bitterness, fears, hurts and addictions will add more harm and leave you feeling very lonely. It is amazing what real communication and transparency can do. Many times it shatters perceptions and ignites a healing process never thought possible.
I have had seasons in my life where I dealt with strong personal struggles and the more I fought accountability and transparency with my confidants, the more tension it brought to our relationship and the more alone I felt. It starting warping my perception about their motives and their character until my subconscious came up with a totally different person. In hindsight, it is easy to see how deep I got in my battle against honesty and transparency but once I conjured up enough gumption to set aside how my exalted image would be perceived, I was set free from those pains. Those relationships that suffered some heavy blows became restored. Every single person on this planet, needs someone to be accountable to and to be open with. I do not care how strong or independent you think you are, it is a foolish notion to think you do not need accountability or forthrightness. If you are married, you absolutely need to be transparent with your spouse. Do not fight it in hope to keep a mask of perfection. Also, you do not have to live with your guilt, fear, addictions, whatever. Be honest with yourself; are you happy keeping a facade or would you be happier being who you are and having someone love you through it? Be bold. Be YOU. Be authentic in your relationships by being transparent. Love you all and pray you will find restoration and healing through the inner struggles. Oh yeah, one more thing; be gracious with other people's shortcomings as you would want them to be with yours. Remember, we are all in this life together.
"Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed" James 5:16
