Ask, seek and freaking show up, for heaven's sake!
Posted by simplisticthoughts , Monday, June 29, 2015 6:20 AM
As some of you may have already known, a few weeks ago Matt and I went to San Diego. It was a work trip for him, so we made the best of our time together when he wasn't in classes. We enjoyed San Diego like any other tourist - we went to Coronado Beach, explored the Gaslamp District and walked up and down the boardwalk that wrapped itself around the San Diego Bay. One thing we did not predict was the reminder given to us as we met and conversed with the local homeless population. Now, I have worked with homeless on many occasions across this country, but to be honest, as of late it had been easier to ignore. I would still acknowledge our local homeless with a smile and sometimes a wave, but would justify my lack of giving. It became easy to ignore and forget the precious times I've had in conversation with homeless men and women.
In San Diego, the reminder hit like a freight truck and with that reminder brought a bit of wisdom. As Matt and I sat on a bench that overlooked the bay while basking in the sun and watching as boats and ships of various sizes passed by, our tourist moment was interrupted. Down the stairs, a man with a cane came and struck up a conversation with us. He was articulate, fairly joyful and from what we could surmise, he was genuine. His beard was peppered grey with remnants of red, his forehead perspired greatly under the hot sun although it wasn't enough for him to take off the jacket he was wearing. His hands were gritty and swollen, bearing the years of homelessness and a black widow bite he had gotten a few weeks before. As he introduced himself to us as Joseph, he looked us in the eye and asked if we would be willing to buy him a sandwich. How could we turn anyone down who asked us to put food in their stomach? The closest food place was a taco stand, so we told him to hang tight and we'll get him some food. As we returned, we gave him the bag of food that began an almost two hour conversation. I've never seen anyone consume food so tenaciously, which he later expressed that he hadn't eaten in a few days. He shared honestly about his struggles with a failed marriage, which led to an alcohol addiction and losing his job as a further result. He was an "Okie from Muskogee," who came to San Diego on a job lead that ended up falling through. Here he was - homeless in San Diego with failing kidneys, no family, a cataract in his left eye (which is why he needed a cane) and with little hope left.
Tears welled up behind my aviator sunglasses as I heard his story. I thought to myself, "how do people get to places like this?" How can this man not see how wonderfully and fearfully he was made? Dinner was approaching and we had to meet with some of Matt's work partners, so we told Joseph that we'd like to buy him lunch the next day and to meet us at 2:00 at that very same spot. That night, our hearts were heavy. We wanted to find a way to help Joseph. We took to the internet and searched a few different things based on our conversation with Joseph that we thought could help him reconnect with his family and get treatment.
The next morning, Matt had to attend his training classes and I continued to search for options to present to Joseph. When Matt had a break throughout his day's work, we kept to our end of the bargain and picked up a big BBQ brisket sandwich with a heap of potato salad for Joseph, we couldn't wait to see how excited he'd be when he opened the bag! We arrived at our predetermined spot ten minutes early and sat on the bench; waiting, praying and playing out the scenario in our heads. Two o'clock came and went and Joseph was not in sight. My heart sunk and broke. I wanted to find him. I wanted to tell him our ideas. I wanted to give him our gift.
Well, we had to do something with the food we bought and there were plenty of homeless along the boardwalk who would certainly be grateful for a meal. But how to choose? There were several to choose from just within our general proximity. We saw a young man off in the distance and had remembered seeing him a few times since our arrival. At first sight, he seemed unapproachable and kept his head bowed but Matt wanted to give to him. As we neared, he stood up and seemed a bit skiddish once he realized we were walking towards him until we greeted him with a cheerful hello and then he lit up. We told him that we wanted to give him lunch and he happily received the bag with a high-pitched "thank you!" We started talking to him and found out that his name was Bryan and he was Chula Vista. He asked us if we would pray for him, he said he prays everyday that he would have food. We spent some time praying for him and every time we thought we were done praying, he would have another Scripture for us to pray specifically over him. I thought, "how fascinating - this guy has so much faith!" He didn't ask us to pray that he would get out of his situation, yet that God would provide for his daily needs and guide him.
We left Bryan so he could eat his lunch and went on our way, with both of our heads spinning. As Matt and I walked and shared our thoughts about all that happening within and around us, we happened to see Joseph fast asleep on a grassy knoll next to another man that we could only assume was homeless as well. The sounds of horns, bicycle chimes and loud chatter didn't even bother the two sleeping men. We didn't wake Joseph, although we did actually wait for about 20 minutes to see if he would wake up because we didn't know if he was passed out drunk or not. In the 20 minutes, neither moved an inch. While sitting there I came to a couple revelations and I share this whole story because they surround this experience.
The first revelation was the gravity of what is missed when we don't show up for potential opportunities. Not giving Matt and I any credit or accolades AT ALL, but we were willing to do what it took, as much to our abilities, to help Joseph. Yet he didn't show up to receive a blessing that could have potentially gotten him out of his present circumstance. He remained asleep and in his present state. He continued with his routine-as-normal and lost out on a blessing. I realized in that moment that he may go the rest of his life believing that nothing will ever work out for him or that we just can't ever catch a break. He will never know what could have been! Now, you could say that we could have woken him up and given him all that we claimed to have wanted to give him but honestly, it didn't seem right. There's power in asking and seeking. There's power in showing up and following through. It was not like we were trying to teach him some sick or twisted lesson by not waking him up, but one thing I've learned about helping others is they have to want to help themselves as well. I wonder how many opportunities I, myself, have missed because of my routines or comforts.
My other revelation was about the power of asking. At this same time, I was reading a book that some acquaintances of ours recently wrote called Spiritual Seeds and it highlighted the power in asking. It was interesting to see the distinction between Joseph's and Bryan's forms of asking. Joseph outright asked Matt and I for food, in which we were able to provide for him. Bryan prayed daily for his "manna" and God was able to use us to provide him with his "daily bread." What he was ultimately doing, as he prayed, was seeking the Kingdom of God first. "Most of us live so far beyond our daily bread that we are lulled into a self-sufficient slumber about our asking" (Strain, 20). Both received what they needed for that ONE day, but something tells me that Bryan will have what he needs daily due to those daily supplications. "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7
My point of all this is not to make Matt and I look like generous and compassionate people because remember, this was a slap-in-the-face reminder about the humanity behind the label of homelessness, but a charge for people to seek (aka show up) and step out of routines because you never know what blessing you could potentially miss. And lastly, when you're seeking, seek first the Kingdom of God and ask God because it's been in my experience that He's the only one who can deliver in the most unimaginable ways. Just a thought...
