Be Transparent.
Posted by simplisticthoughts , Friday, June 14, 2013 9:33 AM
How is it in a time in our history, where privacy is almost null with the emergence of social networks, technology and government surveillance, transparency has become a predisposed disposition? Humans are pretty crafty about choosing what they want the world to see or perceive. On the outside, our lives are capable of appearing perfect while the inside picture harbors a very different reality. Personally, one of the hardest things a person can be is transparent. Why? Because transparency opens one up to becoming vulnerable; vulnerable to exposed weakness, flaws, shortcomings and most importantly, the created self-image we want the world to see. In our culture today, the 'self' is very exalted. I mean, why else do we need social network sites such as Facebook, Instagram or blogger? We want the world to hear our thoughts and opinions. We want people to see our exalted lives, with the polish we add to it. (By the way, I am totally guilty of this, so do not think I am singling myself out or pointing fingers. We are in this together, friends.) But this blog is specifically for those who feel their life is a masquerade.
Now let me emphasize, transparency does not mean you have to publicly broadcast your inner conflicts with everyone you come in contact with. What it does mean, is not being afraid to be open and vulnerable to those whom you trust, i.e. spouse/significant other, mentor, best friend. Understand that hurt from being transparent can result, but in my experience, those who hold in frustrations, fears, addictions, etc... find themselves in deeper, darker places. Mold thrives in the dark, so do our emotions and fears. Blockading your feelings from those whom your supposed to put trust in, severs relationships and places a gap from real intimacy. I find this most important within a marriage or committed relationship. I have not been married very long at all, coming up to our 6 month anniversary, but I do have an understanding about relationships in general. Sequestering and harboring bitterness, fears, hurts and addictions will add more harm and leave you feeling very lonely. It is amazing what real communication and transparency can do. Many times it shatters perceptions and ignites a healing process never thought possible.
I have had seasons in my life where I dealt with strong personal struggles and the more I fought accountability and transparency with my confidants, the more tension it brought to our relationship and the more alone I felt. It starting warping my perception about their motives and their character until my subconscious came up with a totally different person. In hindsight, it is easy to see how deep I got in my battle against honesty and transparency but once I conjured up enough gumption to set aside how my exalted image would be perceived, I was set free from those pains. Those relationships that suffered some heavy blows became restored. Every single person on this planet, needs someone to be accountable to and to be open with. I do not care how strong or independent you think you are, it is a foolish notion to think you do not need accountability or forthrightness. If you are married, you absolutely need to be transparent with your spouse. Do not fight it in hope to keep a mask of perfection. Also, you do not have to live with your guilt, fear, addictions, whatever. Be honest with yourself; are you happy keeping a facade or would you be happier being who you are and having someone love you through it? Be bold. Be YOU. Be authentic in your relationships by being transparent. Love you all and pray you will find restoration and healing through the inner struggles. Oh yeah, one more thing; be gracious with other people's shortcomings as you would want them to be with yours. Remember, we are all in this life together.
"Confess your faults to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed" James 5:16
