Man, I Feel Like A Woman?
Posted by simplisticthoughts , Saturday, October 27, 2012 10:11 AM
Oddly enough, I received three comments this summer about my feminine transformation. I am not sure statistically the odds of those occurrences but I would say it is enough to grab my attention. These comments caused me to reflect several years back to a time when teenage angst consumed my identity whilst in pursuit of said identity. Many of you reading this can clearly recall a time in my life where skate shoes and brands were my choice clothes, punk rock my musical selection, and my hair underwent a wide variety of color transformations most noticeably blue-black (which broke my mom's heart; her blonde haired little girl, gone). Snowboarding was the only way of life and a skateboard always in tote, even though I never got all that good. I never missed a party or a chance to have a good time or a good punk show. I did not like a lot of things most people would consider "girly"; I hated purses (I carried a wallet), thought shopping was a waste of time, heels...you could forget about it! I had friends that were girls but outside of those, I did not connect with a lot of girls. If you didn't snowboard, skate or do anything that required getting dirty and the outdoors, in my mind, I had nothing in common with you. The last thing I wanted to talk about was clothes, decorating, having babies and what my wedding day would look like. And do not get me started on the girl's at parties that wore the most revealing clothes just to get the guys' attention. If you did not have a personality to get you noticed, then I just felt bad for you because all you were going to get was "humped and dumped". Most of my friend's were guys because I felt most comfortable talking with them. We could talk about football, snowboarding and other similar things.
When I became a Christian and started going to church, I felt the gap between other women and I widen even more! I looked around and did not see another girl with piercings on their face, snowboard clothes or any indicators of those with an "alternative" lifestyle. I was embarrassed of anything considered truly feminine. I had created a lifestyle and mindset that because of the extra curricular activities I partook in there was not a whole lot of room for femininity. I thought the idea of being feminine was a weakness and altogether bore a vapid exterior; feminine women were sheep and had no originality. Slowly I conformed to being more of what I thought was a girl. I bought a pair of heels and more feminine clothes but still felt out of place and my mindset towards women had not changed all that much. I learned to respect and get along more with other women who I did not initially have much commonality with. Finally it hit me, I realized there had to be other girls out there that felt the same way. Girls who loved the outdoors and sports, but did not have other female friends to share these interests with and much to my surprise, there were a lot of girls like this!! So I started up groups like a girl's outdoor group and more recently within the snowboard community, collaborated with other female riders to create an actual unified and cohesive community.
For those of you who have known me within the last few years, you probably find this blog as a shock simply because I love hanging out with girls these days! I do not care what your interests are or where you come from, I sincerely love being around women. I have found there is a dynamic when women stop judging one another, comparing themselves or singling out based on appearance or interests. I have learned to become comfortable and love being a woman! I love shopping and clothes, but I also love the outdoors and do not mind rolling up my sleeves for hard work. I have learned there is no ONE way to be a woman outside of loving yourself! Enjoy who you were created to be and do not limit your thinking by contorting your ideas of what something should be. Looking back, if I continued on my path of limited thinking, I would not have some of the friendships I have now because I would have automatically written them off. How crazy is that?! So in summation, I think people have commented on my transformation because I have embraced the beauty of womanhood instead of casting it off. Plus, since my partying days I have dropped some pounds, so that may have helped, lol. Either way, love being a woman, ladies--it is what you were born to be! Much love to you all!
